Dear Bird,
Buddy, you're scaring me.
Clearly you've figured out how to get in and get out, due to the fact that you're not always there. That makes me even more disturbed at how frantic you seem to be every time you're inside. Bouncing from wall to wall, chirping and flapping.
Why return? Are there eggs in there? God I hope not. I will commit to you not to run my air conditioning for the next two months, but what then? I cannot have their yolk on my hands.
And bird, I know morning is your thing. But bro. It's fucking early. And how do you know when I'm sleeping on the couch, not four feet from where you're squatting? Woke me up two separate times this morning. I had a nightmare thanks to you.
All that being said, I have just one favor to ask. Please please please don't come into my apartment. I cannot handle it. I'm serious dude, please don't. That AC unit is pretty weathered, and I don't doubt your ability to break in. You're one manic flapping session away.
Don't do this to me.
Love,
Mari
Mari
